My Birthday at Mom's

Since everyone was so busy, my parents celebrated my birthday about 2 days later. My sister took us all out to a nice Japanese dinner.

The photo shows really well that everyone in my family had something better to do.

Day of Reckoning

I turned 41 today, unlike the night before I turned 40 where I could not sleep but think about the past 40 years, I did not think about the past too much but rather the future. I slept late again due to work and woke up early due to work.

For the past few weeks I did feel like I am progressing a depression. Fo rthe past year I dwelled on my past and I guess the past weeks I am anticipating? weary? of what lies ahead for me.

Conclusively I have lost myself. I lost my directions, my creativity (not that I had much), my being around myself. Goals are made but not fought for and inspiration ran dry as days turn bright and dark in an unrelenting vicious cycle that overshadow me. A deep rut eating inside out, mind of mine are in a state of stalemate. There are things I want to do but can't find the inspiration to get even a little finger to move. All this is really bothering me. Really need to find a way out.